batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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