her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
