Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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