Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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