so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
COCAINE IS GR8
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
