She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
