Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
