he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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