It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
