is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am one with the molecules
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
