I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
