Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
