do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
