Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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