Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
