last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
