I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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