That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
