whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
