so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
