And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
