There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
ttyl tear gas
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
