everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
