It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
