went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
