Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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