The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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