We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
how does that bad decision feel?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
