are you still at the devil's house?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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