Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
50% drunk capacity currently
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
