im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
