11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
