Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Even the bartender felt bad for me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
