I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
