lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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