Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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