I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
