I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
