I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
