I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
