You smell like a Billy Joel song
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
