she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
