There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
