you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
