im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
