come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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