WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
