I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm like, not good at living.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
