she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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