If i come over, it means nothing
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
