Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
