I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
