CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
