Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
