the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
