haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
